Episode 40: My ADHD team lead is unbearable during deadlines. What can I do?
Published on 8 July 2025 • Hosted by Dr Lisa Colledge
“She’s so ADHD.” But that’s not the real problem.
“She’s chaotic. She doesn’t respect our time. She’s so ADHD.”
That’s what her team says.
Every time there’s a big deadline coming up, they brace themselves for the late-night messages, the last-minute requests, the sudden urgency that wasn’t there a week ago. Meetings run over. Plans get scrapped.
Some team members cancel personal commitments. Others go quiet and do the minimum.
Everyone is thinking the same thing: I can't keep doing this.
They blame the team lead.
They think she has ADHD.
Perhaps she does.
But here’s the truth:
Whether or not she has an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t matter.
The problem is the dynamic between all members of the team.
And the solution lies in how the team works as a unit, not in who has what label.
A cultural clash, not a personal failing
This isn’t a story about one “difficult” person.
It’s a story about assumptions, clashing neurostyles, and a team without shared norms.
The team lead thrives under pressure. She gets a buzz from working right up to the deadline.
She believes the adrenaline makes her sharper, more creative, more effective.
And she trusts that her team will match that energy.
But the rest of the team?
They need structure.
They want to plan ahead.
They’re exhausted by the chaos, and increasingly disengaged.
The team is stuck in a loop: stress, resentment, underperformance --> repeat.
The traditional neuro-inclusion model falls short
This is the kind of situation that traditional inclusion practices don’t much help with.
They rely on diagnosis, disclosure, and accommodation:
Someone shares a diagnosis.
The manager steps in with adjustments.
The rest of the team adapts to meet the needs of that person.
But what if the person in question is the team lead?
What if they don’t disclose, or don’t have a diagnosis at all?
What if more than one team member has a neurodivergence diagnosis and request different accommodations?
You can read more about the shortcomings of this model in this article, but the takeaway is that it's easy to break the model. This situation is one example where it doesn't work.
And worse: if the team lead did have an ADHD diagnosis and chose to share it, using it as a reason to expect the team to continue to work this way, it would most likely worsen the situation and create a stigma about neurodivergence where perhaps there was none before.
There’s a better way: the cultural inclusion model
This is where my cultural inclusion model comes in.
Rather than waiting for someone to reveal a diagnosis and act as the focal point for a problem, this model assumes that neuro-differences exist, and builds the team capability to respond to it.
Here’s how it worked for this team:
We started by naming the friction without requiring disclosure.
We used guided prompts from my Neurostyle Navigator to explore where team members naturally fall along a spectrum of working styles, such as “I get focused under pressure” vs. “Deadlines make me anxious.”
This enables teams to see, clearly, that their tension isn't personal, but structural and style-based.
Then, together, they can co-create a team process that works well for everyone using my FIT model: Fair, Intentional, Team-minded.
The result?
✓ Early planning for those who need time.
✓ Space for the team lead to thrive in her “high-energy zone.”
✓ Clear agreements on channels, response times, and expectations.
✓ And a shared review afterward to keep iterating the deliverable and process.
No diagnosis. No blame. No resentment.
Just clarity, shared ownership, and a team that works.
From friction to foundation
When I work with teams like this, I often hear:
“We just thought it was her personality.”
“We didn’t know we could talk about this.”
“We never realised how different our styles were.”
But once they start?
They don’t want to go back.
That’s the beauty of a cultural approach—it’s scalable, sustainable, and portable. Teams don’t just solve one problem. They build a capability. They can apply their skillset to meetings, communication, recognition, and more.
Want to get started?
If this sounds familiar, don’t wait.
🗓️ Book a free consultation and let’s talk about it.
We'll talk about what you're experiencing, diagnose root causes, and see how building a neuro-inclusive team will benefit the engagement, wellness and performance of your team.
Interested in hearing more about ADHD traits?
🎧 Episode 17: From berry bushes to breakthroughs: ADHD and innovation
